Videos

Someone I chatted to the other day sent me a link to some Youtube video's which I found excellent (though I haven't yet listen to all of them yet).  They're by a man called David Daish who also suffered from anxiety and he used Dr Claire Weeke's books and method - the same as I did - and this is the same method I constantly talk about here on this blog.

Though the Dr Weeke's books and those by Paul David are easy to read and follow, some people are just too tired to concentrate on a book, so these video's might be a good alternative as all you have to do is listen to his lovely mellow voice.

Sadly I understand David Daish has passed away, and I'm sure many of us would like to thank him for all his hard work in recording these video's to help others.

I hope you find them very useful.

Video Link:

https://www.youtube.com/user/OldRockMan58/videos

Dealing with Scary Thoughts

I know, another post about thoughts, but this is often one of the most distressing side effects anxiety brings to the table.

Someone asked me the other day just what did I mean about 'allowing the thoughts to be there and not engaging with them'.  I know I've posted about this before, but I came up with a better explanation:

So ....... first understand that you won't be rid of these thoughts in an instant (but they will go), and secondly remember they are a side effect of anxiety, and as anxiety eases so too will the thoughts.

And this is the way I explained about 'not engaging':

We all have our own frightening thoughts - god knows I had plenty, each one seemed scarier than the last.  So as an example, imagine I had a frightening thought about a pink elephant (yes, I know .... its first thing that came to my mind), and the pink elephant dogged my every second of my day, producing constant fear and terror.  The very thought of him spikes anxiety, I hated his size, those big feet, his smell, his look ...... anything about him.

My mind will try and work out a solution as to why its there and how to rid myself of this horrendous thought, and so it'll begin ... 'why am I afraid of a pink elephant', 'where has it come from', 'how big is the pink elephant', 'my he's got huge feet', 'what if the elephant gets too near', 'what if the elephant has a friend', 'how can I stop thinking of the pink elephant and his friend', 'what if I'm like this forever' ....... on and on those questions will churn over in my head, day after day, with each question causing more anxiety.

Its those questions that keep the pink elephant seem larger than life (ok, I know they're big animals, but you get what I mean).  The anxiety from the questions feeds the anxiety about the elephant.

Yes the pink elephant will continue be there but stop all those questions about him.  Yes the questions will come but just don't follow them through - let them come and go.  Allow the pink elephant to be in your head, but don't engage with him.  Let him accompany you for now whilst you get on with your day - just don't engage with him.  Let the question float around but don't mull it over.

This is helping to break the constant anxiety cycle.

Eventually over time the pink elephant won't seem as scary and he'll just trump off back to the jungle or wherever he came from.  This takes time, so don't expect him to pack his trunk tomorrow - it'll be a while yet.

Treat all scary thought like this - they're all the same, but just with different hats on.

One important note to remember - yes, you will fail at times at not engaging with your thought, that's only natural.  Its a habit and habits take time to break.  Don't beat yourself up it you fail - but just try again.  Just try not engaging with what ever your pink elephant thought is.

If you have more than one frightening thought (as I did), then treat them all the same.  They will in time lose their importance and the anxiety they produce will start to ease.

Honestly, this really does work.

Negative Attitude

Anxiety will make you think and feel constantly negative, but understanding this is anxiety and not you can make it a little easier to cope with.

I know you feel scared inside but every time you have a negative thought try and follow it up with 'its just anxiety talking, this isn't the real me and I'll think differently when I'm better'.  That's what I used to say - and it does help.

I see so many people writing for example:

I'm scared I won't get better

I'm scared of the heart palpitations

I'm scared because I feel dizzy

I'm worried about my blurry vision

I'm scared I'll hurt someone

I can't catch my breath

I can't stop thinking of bad thoughts

I'm scared I'll go crazy

I can't enjoy myself anymore

etc etc

All these are negatives, and quite honestly its pointless worrying about them because they're just side effects of one thing.  Anxiety.  Those worries are only there because you have anxiety, and its the anxiety that makes you think like this.

Can you see that these worries add to the cycle of anxiety?  By thinking and worrying like this, it causes anxiety and the anxiety causes the thoughts.  There are many aspects to help break the constant cycle, and one of them is to accept these thoughts are due to anxiety, let them come and go, don't try and analyse why you have them, don't try and work them out ...... but when you have a thought like this follow it up with a positive one.  No you won't feel joy from the positive thought, and it won't stop the anxiety - but it helps.  I did this time after time, and it felt like I was just saying a positive parrot fashion.

Sometimes someone will write to me about their fears and worries, and I try to explain why these thoughts are present etc ........ and often the sufferer will say yes I understand that, it makes sense, that makes me feel good ...... BUT I worry I won't be able to apply that ..... and off they go again with the negatives.

Its easy to slip back into negative thinking, and it won't stop overnight I know.  However, understanding this is anxiety doing this and not you can help you see it in a different light.

Just try it - follow up with a little positive thought.  Mine reassurance was always the same line 'but I won't think like this when I'm better'.

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Remember - I'm not a doctor or in anyway medically trained

Always consult your own Doctor

Take Anxiety with you ...

Recovery from anxiety can be different from what you expect.  We don't just take a pill and the anxiety fades away over a few weeks ..... often we take anxiety with us right throughout recovery to the very end.

By that I mean that anxiety is worst for us in the mornings upon waking.  The stress hormone cortisol is released by the adrenal glands in response to fear or stress.  Researchers have studied the cortisol awakening response (CAR) and have found that cortisol is highest in the first hour of waking for people with an increased level of stress in their lives.  This helps explain why you may experience an increase in anxiety in the morning.

What you eat and drink first thing in the morning can also contribute to higher levels of anxiety in the early hours of the day.  Caffeine and sugar can increase anxiety symptoms.  But low blood sugar due to a lack of food can make anxiety symptoms worse.

So however bad you feel in the morning, its not an indication how the rest of your day will pan out.  Don't let anxiety fool you into thinking 'uh oh, another bad day'!!

Because anxiety dominates our every waking minute, it overpowers other recovery symptoms - these could be improved sleep, better appetite, thinking a little more clearly, feeling a little less agitated, concentration improved etc etc., but we don't recognise these signs as recovery because we're all too consumed with the dreadful feeling of anxiety, that we just don't often realise that we are slowly getting better.  It sort of creeps up on you unawares.  But if you actually look back to how you were at the start of your anxiety to where you are now you may see a slight difference, despite still suffering with chronic anxiety.

Don't try and rid yourself of anxiety, because that's one battle you're sure to fail at and will make you feel frustrated, upset, stressed and probably make you feel even more anxious.  You cannot stop anxiety dead in its tracks, but instead understand that you need to take it with you whilst you recover.

So ... every morning you wake full of anxiety, remember its just doing its worst because of Cortisol.  It will lower throughout the day, even just a little.

For me, I started getting glimpses of normality in the evenings.  It started one night and I remember the relief I felt ... and I even sort of kept looking for 'it'!  It felt truly wonderful!!  Imagine my disappointment when I woke the next day full of anxiety again, and I couldn't understand why I'd had that brief moment feeling well.  That evening the same happened again - I felt relaxed and free of my thoughts ......  What was happening?  Night after night this happened and yet I still didn't realise this was recovery.

Over the next few weeks / months this feeling spread further, with it starting earlier in the evening - I then began to wonder if this was recovery.  More time passed and it began starting in the afternoon, then early afternoon, midday, late morning, mid morning .......... until I woke up one day feeling relaxed, warm, cosy ...... it was then I knew 'it' had gone.  Throughout all this time though, I still got those blips where I felt wretched all day and night, often for a week or more.  This eventually passed and I went back into the bad morning / good nights.  Each stage I passed I thought 'ok, I can live with this if it just means I'll be well in the evenings' etc.  At least I was getting some relief.

Even when the anxiety finally left me around 6 months, I still wasn't completely out of the woods.  I still had the occasional blip after 'I'd recovered', but by then it was more of a flat feeling, as if my body was going through the motions of a blip but without all the drama.  Even today, 20+ years since my recovery, I still get the occasional flat time which I recognise as a blip, but which doesn't bother me at all.  I know these happen when I've 'burnt the candle at both ends' and have pushed myself too much and not got enough sleep - this is when my body tells me to watch it.  So I remedy that with getting to bed early, slowing down more and yes sure enough I start feeling more energised and much better.  So - listen to your body, even when you are well.

So ... take the anxiety with you, let it be there, work with it, live with it ... for now.  It will go.  Remember ... you wouldn't be able to heal a broken leg in an instant and you'd live with the pain and discomfort whilst it heals.  Same with anxiety.

After all ..... good things take time.