The Path to Anxiety and Panic - and the Pathway out

Anxiety and panic often starts from stress.  Your body can only cope with its own personal limit and if you keep piling on more stress then it'll boil over and result in anxiety / panic.  That's often when you have a panic attack - its an outpouring of adrenaline.  

Being pregnant and childbirth is a huge task for your body to deal with - hormones raging about, tiredness, a child to nurture etc etc.  I'm assuming you've been checked for post natal depression?

Anyhow ... usually when you have a panic attack you often associate it with something you've done at the time or a place you're in at the time of the panic.  This actually has no relevance on the panic attack at all, but your brain tells you differently.  So you then associate this place or event with panic, and worry about going to that place or doing whatever you were doing at the time in case you panic again.  You then create a fear of panic, worry about panic and so start avoiding things.  Worrying causes more anxiety, and anxiety causes more fear and worry - so you get caught up in a cycle.  Anxiety also causes strange thoughts, and in turn these strange thoughts cause anxiety - adding to this cycle.  So then you find yourself in this strange place of fear, anxiety, worry, panic, sadness, thoughts, depression etc etc which will continue to churn around in a constant vicious cycle.  All these side effects and thoughts are due to one thing - anxiety.  Fix the anxiety and the side effects will go ... so in effect its pointless worrying about the side effects (but of course, we all do).

When you have anxiety you will think anxiously and negatively all the time.  You will not see anything positive and can only think of doom and gloom, fear and panic.

When suffering anxiety and panic we live in a state of tension - clenching our teeth together, holding the body taught, fighting 'this thing'.  Nerves are sensitive and tight and they need to be desensitised and calm / more soothed.  In order to reverse this cycle your body needs to start relaxing and calming.  But what do we do?  Instead we rush about hoping that keeping busy will distract us, we keep checking to see if 'it' is still there, and we question ourselves constantly and start the long search for answers and a cure.  All this just adds to that vicious cycle that keeps us ill.  But we can't see this because we're too entrenched in it all.

Eating and a sugar rush will not cause you to have a panic attack.  You are doing that by over thinking about this, tensing against it and avoiding it.

SSRI medicine will help to calm the body in time.  Initially it'll only heighten all these side effects, which inevitably will make you fear panic all the more, but over time as the side effects ease off the body will start to calm and you'll start to feel happier (the meds hang onto our Serotonin before being reabsorbed, making us feel happier).  This takes a long time to take effect.

Don't stop taking the medicine.  It will take time to work - and it will help.  You have to give it time though.  Trouble is we all do not like the feeling of anxiety and panic, so we panic at the mere thought of it (adding to the anxiety pot).

As we wait for the meds to kick in it helps to accept that you will feel like this for a while yet, so don't expect to be well tomorrow.  Understand these feelings and side effects take a while to go.  You wouldn't expect a broken leg and all its side effects to heal in a week, so treating the anxiety / panic the same is helpful too.

Also as we wait for the meds to work we can help ourselves by stop rushing about, stop holding the body tight - let go of tension, slow down all the time.  This has the same effect as the meds does.  This takes a lot of time too - months, not days or weeks.  Some people say I've relaxed this afternoon but the anxiety is still there.  Of course it is - it'll take much longer than an afternoon.

Many people reading this won't believe that relaxing and slowing down will help, because they don't get instant relief.  There isn't an overnight off switch, but with continued practice it does work.  The body becomes calmer, thoughts become more logical and calmer, panic soothes, anxiety soothes .......

As said, fearing panic causes more anxiety and more panic.  I know this is extremely hard but going through panic is also the way forward.  Its our reaction to panic that is key - by fearing it will only reinforce it ... and of course the avoidance game starts, which further reinforces it.  When a panic attack strikes the best way to deal with it is to relax as best you can, breathe through it and just let go.  The more you tense and fight it the more you will feel frightened.  I know this is the hardest thing to do, but believe me nothing will actually happen to you in a panic attack.  It will build and it will pass.  Passing through it is like passing through a hurricane and out the other side.  You're re-educating your body to not fear it.

Everyone can overcome this - and I honestly know its not easy, having been there myself.  But I found learning about anxiety and panic, the process it takes to produce it, the process to reverse it, the medication all helped me overcome 16 years of it.

We all panic about panic - its only natural.  But understanding what is happening to you can help to take a lot of tension and fear away.  Knowledge is good - practice letting go and not fighting is good - and the meds are even better wink

You will get better.

Intrusive Thoughts - Just a Side Effect of Anxiety

Intrusive thoughts are actually just a side effect of anxiety - and then the thoughts produce more anxiety, and the anxiety produces more thoughts. You get stuck in a cycle. Once the anxiety starts to ease so too will the thoughts.  I had loads of bad thoughts and they just manifested over time, moved from one important one to another.  As I recovered the thoughts became unimportant and now no longer bother me.

People worry about their thoughts, but understanding they are no more than a side effect, just as a headache is a side effect of a cold, that really does help.  Don't try and stop them - doing that you're just making them more important.  If someone said to you 'don't think of a giraffe', then you'd automatically think of a giraffe.  Letting them be, not reacting to them and they'll lose their power.

Thoughts are very upsetting but if you can learn to just let them be, however powerful they seem, however much anxiety they cause.  By paying them attention you make them important ... and so they cling on.  They won't go away overnight or next week, but continuous practice and they start to diffuse them.  Its like ignoring them, even though they're there.  They will pass as you recover.  An anxious body goes hand in hand with an anxious mind.  Once you're better you think completely differently.  Honestly.

You can't hurry recovery...

I get many emails from people asking for any little tips or tricks that will help them recover.  I firstly point out that you cannot hurry recovery.

Things I found helped (and this is through reading / understanding anxiety and actually doing it).

First a daily walk or bike ride (if you can).  Getting outside in the fresh air is good, even if you don't feel it at the time.  Exercise raises the endorphins and being amongst nature is calming.  Often sufferers who start walking, usually just look at the ground, don't take notice of anything around them, but over time as they recover they will start to emerge and begin enjoying the walks.  

​

One of the biggest things to help me was relaxing.  When you're anxious / depressed your body will naturally tense up to protect itself - similar to how it reacts against cold weather (that kind of tenseness).  When you're anxious / depressed your body becomes sensitised and starts to overreact to everything - noise seems extra loud, you get more irritable about things, you overthink and over analyse etc etc.  This is because your nerves are super heightened.  Anxiety likes a tense body, and it needs to be reversed to help it do become desensitised and for your nerves to return to normal.  The relaxing I mean isn't just sitting on the sofa doing nothing, but I mean if you look at your body you'll probably find your jaw is clenched, you hold your stomach muscles tight and you probably rush about from A to B and are highly irritable all the time.  So let go of all tension in your body, like flopping .... but do this whilst you move about.  This is the opposite of what your body naturally wants to do at the moment.  Its quite hard to do actually, and so I used to just practice in short bursts i.e. I'd fully relax whilst maybe washing up, or relax as I walked upstairs etc etc.  Over time I was able to relax more.  The same for rushing about.  Slow down, take your time, don't drive in the outside lane but take the inside lane, drive slower, move about slower.  You might think this won't help but it absolutely does.  Not straight away, so don't expect immediate results, but over much time your body begins to ease.  You're reversing the process.  When you're asleep your body is deeply relaxed and probably feels good - upon waking your body instinctively tenses and you feel anxious again.  Its gone into the fight or flight mode, and its chosen fight.  You can't fight this, but have to go with it and reverse this.

Lastly you have to have lots of patience ....... and I mean lots.  Understand you aren't going to get better tomorrow or next week, and probably not next month either.  But by accepting you feel like you do at the moment, try and go with it however frightening it feels, go for the daily walk, practice relaxing, take your medication if you have been prescribed with any ..... and give yourself time.  You will slowly begin to notice small changes, and if you keep going then bigger changes happen until you start feeling well.  You will get setbacks along the way, but accept those too, pick yourself up and carry on.

Often when I tell people of these tips, they are ignored .... which is quite common.  People don't want to hear about relaxing or walking - they just want to be well NOW.  Unfortunately you will not be well now and by doing as suggested will lead you to a calmer place.  Believe me, I've studied anxiety, I've suffered it for more than 20 years and know how it works.  I was the same - I didn't see how relaxing would help, couldn't see it.  But it does.  100%.  But that's up to you - if you want to go on the same as you've been doing for how many months, then carry on fighting it ...... as I did.  You haven't got anywhere though have you, because you're still searching for that magic wand to make you well.  So why not instead try as I've suggested and stop fighting it, and go with it, accept it, give in, relax, let your tired anxious body relax and give it the rest its craving for.  No it does not mean you're giving up, but it means you're approaching recovery from a different angle - and one that works.

I've had people say to me - but I've accepted it and its still there!!!  Well you've haven't accepted it or you wouldn't still be complaining.  Accepting it means let it be there, however bad it feels.  For now anyway.

People have also said to me - but I can't relax ..... or, I relaxed last night but have still woken with anxiety.  Well of course you have - one practice of relaxation won't do it, and even whilst you relax you'll still feel dreadful.  But ....... with continued practice, days, weeks, months it will lead your body into a better place.  

It often takes a long time to get into the anxiety trap, and so it'll take an equal amount of time to get out of it.

Don't put a timescale on getting better.  I must be better in a months time for my holiday, I need to be well by Christmas, I've given myself 2 weeks before I go back to work.  Forget it.  If you do this you will fail, because by the time that date comes round and you're not well you'll feel upset, more tense and feel utterly wretched.  Instead just allow however long it takes ..... whether its 6 months, a year or 2 months.  Allow recovery to come to you instead of you chasing it.  It will come.

Everyone can overcome this.  However long you've been ill, however deep you feel you've become entrapped.

I recommend you read this website and get a copy of the book At Last a Life.