Dealing with Scary Thoughts

I know, another post about thoughts, but this is often one of the most distressing side effects anxiety brings to the table.

Someone asked me the other day just what did I mean about 'allowing the thoughts to be there and not engaging with them'.  I know I've posted about this before, but I came up with a better explanation:

So ....... first understand that you won't be rid of these thoughts in an instant (but they will go), and secondly remember they are a side effect of anxiety, and as anxiety eases so too will the thoughts.

And this is the way I explained about 'not engaging':

We all have our own frightening thoughts - god knows I had plenty, each one seemed scarier than the last.  So as an example, imagine I had a frightening thought about a pink elephant (yes, I know .... its first thing that came to my mind), and the pink elephant dogged my every second of my day, producing constant fear and terror.  The very thought of him spikes anxiety, I hated his size, those big feet, his smell, his look ...... anything about him.

My mind will try and work out a solution as to why its there and how to rid myself of this horrendous thought, and so it'll begin ... 'why am I afraid of a pink elephant', 'where has it come from', 'how big is the pink elephant', 'my he's got huge feet', 'what if the elephant gets too near', 'what if the elephant has a friend', 'how can I stop thinking of the pink elephant and his friend', 'what if I'm like this forever' ....... on and on those questions will churn over in my head, day after day, with each question causing more anxiety.

Its those questions that keep the pink elephant seem larger than life (ok, I know they're big animals, but you get what I mean).  The anxiety from the questions feeds the anxiety about the elephant.

Yes the pink elephant will continue be there but stop all those questions about him.  Yes the questions will come but just don't follow them through - let them come and go.  Allow the pink elephant to be in your head, but don't engage with him.  Let him accompany you for now whilst you get on with your day - just don't engage with him.  Let the question float around but don't mull it over.

This is helping to break the constant anxiety cycle.

Eventually over time the pink elephant won't seem as scary and he'll just trump off back to the jungle or wherever he came from.  This takes time, so don't expect him to pack his trunk tomorrow - it'll be a while yet.

Treat all scary thought like this - they're all the same, but just with different hats on.

One important note to remember - yes, you will fail at times at not engaging with your thought, that's only natural.  Its a habit and habits take time to break.  Don't beat yourself up it you fail - but just try again.  Just try not engaging with what ever your pink elephant thought is.

If you have more than one frightening thought (as I did), then treat them all the same.  They will in time lose their importance and the anxiety they produce will start to ease.

Honestly, this really does work.