Accepting

Dr Claire Weekes talks of accepting - when I was ill it took me a long time to understand what this meant exactly.  I'd get cross and say 'ok I understand I'm ill, so how does that help'?

Accepting does mean that and more.  It means you of course understand you're ill but you have to also understand that those thoughts and feelings are going to be with you for quite a while yet and that you need to work with them there.  You can't get rid of it all in an instant.  That's acceptance.  Acceptance of it all.

I often pass this on to others and they often come back and say 'ok I understand that, BUT I have this particular thought .......' or 'that makes sense, BUT I'm sick of the thoughts and desperate to be better'.  That is not accepting - they've done exactly the opposite.  How can you accept something but still complain about it?  Accepting means accept / put up with everything, completely everything without question about what is happening to you.

Of course there'll always be questions and doubts - I was exactly the same.  Am I on the right path, are the meds working, why have I got this thought etc etc., but though those thoughts kept coming I just let them come, I accepted they would and learnt to not engage with them.

The anxiety was rife, it peaked and eased throughout the day and though I longed for it to go away I again learnt to accept the anxiety would be there ... for now anyway.  I allowed it to be there (well, where else was it going to go anyway)?  So I let it be, I let it do its worst, and even in those darkest times I just let it do what it had to do.  That was accepting its presence.

Of course there were times when I just couldn't take it anymore, I crumbled and I felt like a failure.  You will too, and thats perfectly normal.  We're only human, and remember ... Rome wasn't built in a day.  After each crumble I'd just pick myself up and carry on as before.  Accepting.

If you had a cold you'd just accept you had one and wouldn't spend your day trying to work out why you had it or try and rid yourself of it.  Yes you'd take some headache pills and hot drinks no doubt, but you'd know it was a cold and you'd just put up with it until it went away.  This is what you need to do with anxiety and its thoughts.  Let it be, accept you've got it, don't question why, but understand the thoughts are only there because you have anxiety and the anxiety is there because you may have been stressed or something else thats brought it about.  Stop trying to fix it.  Stand aside, let it be and your body will do the rest.

Accept it all and let it pass.  It will - it always does.